Don't quit.
I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and that it really doesn't matter if the dishes are done or that no one really cares that you stayed up till 2 am folding laundry or that you are just overlooked. I know you sit in the car and put your head on the steering wheel and the tears roll down at times. I know that sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and whisper (or scream) that you've had enough of all of this. I know. I know because I have felt that way.
I remember sitting in the bathroom behind the door with my head in my hands thinking that I couldn't do this motherhood thing anymore and that I really didn't matter or make a difference and that I would never ever catch up on laundry - which, by the way, I've never really caught up on. And because I've felt that way I'm writing today to tell you that you, right now, matter more than you might ever realize.
You, and your life, your voice, your giving of self, and all of that matters.
There will be days that are hard. Weeks that are hard. Months that are hard. But, you can do this. I know you can. You can pick yourself up, brush off the words that hold you back, and you can be mom today. You can look in your children's eyes and tell them how much you love them - even though you are remembering how much they sassed back to you this morning - and you can love them unconditionally. You can make those pbjs for lunch today and sliced apples and can actually get the straw in the juice pouch on the first time. Or the second. You can drive those kids to soccer or ballet or to school or to where ever and you will tell yourself that you sitting in the car with them matters.
Quitting means stopping. And you don't stop.
A wise friend of mine told me this weekend that we only fail when we quit.
Motherhood doesn't look anything like I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn't look like those pinterest boards full of birthday ideas with perfect fondant cakes and party favors that take three hours to make. Those moments are there. But seriously, listen to me, those things don't make a mother. Those things, while they are beautiful, they don't really matter in the life journey. Do you know what matters? You. Right now, reading these words, who is about to give of herself for her family.
Do you realize what an amazing impact you are leaving? Don't tell me about all the times you've messed up. I've got them as well. But do you remember all the times where you have done well? Or the times when you've been there? Sitting up at one am rocking a toddler with a bad dream. Making dinner out of a pantry that is bare. Giving up on something you need so that your child can get what they need. Helping with math. Reading a story. Folding those clothes. Making lunches. Teaching. Listening to their stories. Being silly. Laughing. Holding the puke bucket. Wiping faces. Putting art on the wall. Watching them sleep.
Those are the moments in life that you are blessed to live.
So you may feel like you want to quit. Don't. Pick up the motherhood towel right now and instead tell yourself you can do this today. You can. You can for your family. Don't look at how Sally is mothering, or what the facebook status states, or the pinterest picture of the perfect mother. You are the perfect mother for your children today. Do not let the world qualify your motherhood. There is no price tag large enough that would ever illustrate the true value of motherhood. You are an amazing gift to your family.
I believe in you.
What are you waiting for? You can do this, sweet mother.
You totally can.
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click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
Some books that I've read and loved: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
, The Simple Living Guide: A Sourcebook for Less Stressful, More Joyful Living
, and One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are
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109 comments:
When I woke up after a short night with a teething toddler who just wanted to nurse all.night.long...I definitely wanted to quit. Resentment sets in for my husband who doesn't seem to notice what I'm doing. I could barely read this thrugh my tears. Thanks for this.
Rachel, you write so beautifully and honestly. Thank you for your support. My kids and I are sick again after having just been pretty sick only a little over a week ago. Some days are harder to remember what my purpose is, and what is most important. Thank you :)
Today is hard. This month has been hard. I am glad that I have not thrown in the towel yet because I need it to wipe the mascara that smears on my face from frustrated tears. I really appreciate this post today, Rachel. Thank you. Clutching the terrycloth for one more day.
After being up most of the night because of pain(just had surgury on my neck)and then still having to get up to get my little's off to school and looking at all the stuff that hasn't been getting done because of my health, I wanted to lay on the floor and sob after they left for school and just quit. So I decided to sit down with a cup of coffee and read some things that might encourage me to keep going. This did it. Thank you SO much. Saying a prayer for you ladies that posted comments ahead of me and sending out hugs and positive light to each of the weary moms that will read this.
I so needed to read this today........thank you!
Thank you all. I really believe that we, as mothers, are better when we are authentic and real. And sometimes that means talking about those hard days when we just don't have the energy to keep going and yet we still do. To you, Sabrina, Jessica, and Sara - I pray for strength and hope today. I'm grateful that these words spoke to your heart. And Lori, I'm hoping for the same as well as that as the day goes on that the pain subsides. You all matter.
Moms rock.
Rachel
YES! YES! and YES! Thanks for encouraging moms to stay the course! SO MANY out there need this encouragement! Big Hugs!
I thank God for you, and the blessing of your insights and encouragement.
Thank you so much, Rachel. The tears are rolling because I've been feeling exactly that way this week. I have a 3 year old who thinks I don't know anything and a teething 18 month old. My husband is in the final stretch of grad school, preparing to write his dissertation and defend it in June, when we will pack up and move to start a new job. Suffice it to say I feel invisible. Everything I do is for my husband and kids, but it seems they don't notice or value what I do. I feel frustrated with myself for needing recognition, but sometimes I just do! When I am putting my whole soul into my family and it seems unappreciated, I just need to know that I'm doing some good. I will keep your words, "You can do this, sweet mother", in my mind today. Thank you so much.
Beautiful, just Beautiful, thank you.
I happened to click on this link on my pinterest board, right after having a moment of tears and overwhelming stress thinking how is our family going to pull through this week, and how tired and worn out I am. Then God led me to this beautiful written letter of encouragement to all moms. Thank you! This is exactly what I need to pull me through the day.
Rachel, your words touched me today. I do have those days. I have those weeks. I have those months. They can be hard. Tears often want to fall, but don't. Sometimes I feel as though I have no more tears.
Thanks to you for the reminders in your Dear Mom letters.
Rachel E.
Rachel, thanks so much! I happened on your blog by accident, just from reading the name "finding joy" and I thought, That's what I need! I need to find some joy! And I've been a reader ever since. I laughed when I saw the title of your post this morning and felt like you wrote this just for me- you have a little window somewhere and saw my morning and knew I needed a pep talk. From the heart, thanks sooo much! We moms need to be more honest with each other, it's my mission to encourage this!
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for posting this. Even as I respond to this post I am holding back tears (Im at work) because Im a single mom of two little girls and have been feeling this way for about a week or so now. Thank you again for sharing. Im going to print this and keep in where I can see it each day! xoxo
Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement. Just the other day I was about to throw my hands up in defeat but knowing I couldn't, I've carried on..but with a heavy heart. Giving it to God and trudging on because each day is a gift!
Your words in these letters to Moms always seem to fill my heart and give me a push to keep going, to keep loving and to keep sacrificing. Thank you. Thank you so, so much.
My kids are grown, my baby is a freshman in college. And I think these days are even harder than the toddler years. Now I am watching them make their own choices, right or wrong. Even though my kids aren't little, I still find myself sitting on the bathroom floor with my head in my hands thinking somehow, we will get through this...and even though they're grown, I'm still not caught up on laundry, but it's on my to do list for today!
I really really needed to read this right now. My husband is working out of town for 5 weeks and at this time, he's only been gone a few days and I'm already feeling like I'm drowning.
My dear sister in the Lord, you so nailed it today with this post. I have felt like quitting so many times and yet I know God is gracing me and empowering me to keep going to never stop. Thank you for sharing these encouraging words to me and so many other moms who need this.
Thank you for writing these words. And thank you to the others who've commented. Now I know I am not alone in my feeling this way. This morning was the worst morning yet- haven't seen my husband in days (he works 120 hours a week and nights) and my 3 year old just never wants to listen the first time, and my 18 month old just always needs something (of course). My house is a disaster and it goes on the market in 2 weeks so we can move across the country. I keep getting called into work for extra projects and just want to scream. So needless to say the stress is overwhelming at times, like this morning. I wonder how we will make it- how I can keep on keeping on. And then I read your post and the other mommas feeling the same way and I am blessed. Thank you!
Wow! That is powerful. I have been masking so much lately and this helped me bring it to the surface and deal with it. My fiance recently got laid off from his job and it is so hard sometime to stay strong for him and our 7 month old son. I work M-f 8 hour days and come home on lunch to visit with them and give him some time to himself, now that we can't afford daycare he is home by himself with our son. He is a great father but was definately not meant to be a home-maker. Sometimes I go on feeling like I work an 8 hour day, come home get as much of the house cleaned as I can make supper, get little one dressed, fed in bed and then love my fiance if I have the energy. And then there are times he praises me for what an amazing person I am but then the next night will say how I should organize this better or I should've rinsed the dishes first because heaven forbid all he has to do that day is feed the baby and do the dishes but they are not pre rinsed for him. I know that he appreciates everything I do and he tells me. I'm sure it's stressful and hard on him right now to feel like he is not providing for us so I cut him quite a bit of slack. Reading this just made me re-affirm that I AM amazing, and I am doing everything right, even when it seems like I'm always in the negative with everything AND our bank account. Thank you!
WOW, tears. Waking up after 4 hours sleep to see this on Faceboook was just what I needed. Overlooked is exactly how I feel every. single. day. It's so reassuring to know other mamas are feeling it tool, it's so easy to look at other Mama's and think they feel wonderful all the time.
I cant even express my thanks to you. .. I have your blogs printed and I read them often. I needed this today and all of your other inspiring words. I went from a busting my butt working wife to a stay at home mom. Sometimes I think about going back but I know how important raising my son is. I dont want to miss those important moments in his life...thank you for reminding us that we are not alone
I'm a stay at home dad now..4months ago I went from sole provider to Mr mom...I was medically retired out army and it has been a complete 180 in terms of lifestyle change, that's not even including going from military lifestyle to civilian lifestyle again...I take care of my beautiful 3 year old daughter Bailey, who I happened to miss being there for her birth and whole first year of her life...she has craniostenosis and had surgery at 6months old (which I was able to return in country for)..she is so smart and amazing. ..always smiling no matter what...my wife haf stopped working when I enlisted and had been Bailey's comfort. ..attached at her hip...when I was discharged my wife returned back to work as a teachers asst. ..Bailey took it very rough the first few weeks. ..there was nothing daddy (I)could do to replace mommy and it was hard, still is, I attend college online so that is challenging with her full of energy always wanting to play. ..I've recently had moments of breaking down mentally and have grown to understand that being a mom is a 24hour job that is by far the hardest job//duty existing on this planet. ..I've grown a greater appreciation and better understanding for how my wife has felt in past where I've kinda shrugged my shoulders like she was complaining about nothing and whining for no reason..I've learned I'm never gonna be as good as mommy but that doesn't mean I'm not just as important in her development and I have promised myself that I would not be the reason she doesn't grow and develop like she would with my wife and that no matter how frustrated I get that I would never use that as an excuse to collapse and throw in the towel, which has been quite a normal feeling during the days :)...great article and absolutely well-timed
So needed to read these words. Thank you <3
Thanks
I considered turning in my letter of resignation for this motherhood thing earlier this week. I had second thoughts of course and am seeking joy in small moments with my kids. Thanks for the encouragement I find here. It matters.
After a long year when two of the children I had legal guardianship of moved out to go live with their dad, one peacefully and the other not so much, I wanted to quit so badly but I have four more children by birth. There is no quitting and even on the days when things don't go well, you must go on and it really does get better and you do learn to look for the positive times because they do far outweigh the difficult days. Before you know it, they are grown up and gone taking a piece of your heart with them wherever they go. Thank you for writing your words of encouragement.
Today was a day that I wanted to give up, give in, close my eyes. I talked to a friend who helped me immensly and now as skim through my face book and see this. It is comforting to know that Im not alone. Thanks for that. Being a mom of 3 boys should be a joyous thing, and some days it is. But days like today when I feel like I would make a better guardian angel then a mom....are...hard.
Oh my God, thank you.
All of these sweet and meaningful comments have left me sitting on my couch with eyes brimming with tears. The community that we share is amazing - and we are not alone. Though our stories are different and we each walk our own journey - we so often need to be reminded that our giving of self, our journey, our lives truly do matter.
To all of you, thank you. Thank you for sharing glimpses of your life with me. I am profoundly grateful.
Thank you for each kind word, thought, and encouragement as well.
Rachel
I know that I don't know you but what you're saying scares me. Your kids have guardian angels, what they need is you. Don't buy into the thought that there is something wrong with you and that they would be better off without you because they won't. If you need help please, please ask for it because there are things you can't take back once they are done. Everyone has those times when they look around and feel like they don't measure up. Your kids aren't, they are looking at you and thinking you're wonderful even on those days when nothing goes right. Thinking of you!
Once again you really nailed it for so many. Don't usually look at the comments but my eye caught on the Mr. Mom post. Oh what a change in his life! Going from military to Mr. Mom! Huge adjustment!
Always here praying!
Psalms 121:5-8 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
My email address
I just love this
I am currently at the tail end of a one year Korea tour, which left me husbandless with a 3 1/2 year old that was just diagnosed autistic, & a teething 6 month old. My oldest is sick & here I was a 5am feeling terrible. Reading this was just what I needed!! Thank you for encouraging us as moms.
You need to go into social work. You know the right words to say to help a troubled soul.
awesome! well said...WE can do it! Being a mother is hard sometimes....we all have bad days, or weeks or months...but there are moments of bliss even in the hard times! Love yourself Mom! .... because you are LOVED
Thanks Rachel. Just what I needed today. In a world of constant comparisons, this is right on.
Alyce
What an amazing post. I've been struggling for a while now. Working hard to find foods that are going to help my kids get better and spending ages making them, only to have them all turn their noses up at the food, dealing with sickness and nightmares and tantrums and exhaustion . . . sometimes I really do want to just go live on a deserted island. Thank you for the encouraging words.
Thanks Rachel. Just what I needed today. In a world of constant comparisons, this is right on.
Alyce
Since my status recently said "Excuse me, do you know where I go to resign?" I can only assume you are talking to me. Thank you. I love my kids and my life but some days are just really, really hard.
Thank you. I needed this today. I'll probably need it tomorrow and most days next week. Thank you.
So nice to know others are in the same boat, even if it does sometimes feel more like a sinking ship. :)
For This, I Thank You.
Exactly what I needed to read. Since my 5 year-old daughter has developed extreme separation anxiety 3 weeks ago, I have felt completely smothered by her. Yesterday was the straw that almost broke the camel's back but I pushed through. I wish I had this to read after dropping her off at school and leaving her crying for me. All I could think about is "I need space you, child!" Thank you for making me understand that I am not the only one who has thoughts of giving up. I love my daughter unconditionally and I can't imagine how empty my life would be without her.
Thank you for sharing/writing this
thank you for writing this. for being so real. i really felt God smile on me while reading your words. I have a new sense of joy today and motivation. Things are extremely hard right now in my life and i know my two toddlers need me. I can do this!
I needed this. Thank you so much.
I SOOOO needed this today. I was just blogging about my horrible week/month and someone sent me this link. Thank you so much for your words.... I just wish that I could say it as eloquently as you! But thank you for doing so!
http://www.erintheirishmama.com/2013/02/controlling-chaos.html
I really have struggled since my second child was both about being a great mom. Thanks for reminding me that I'm the perfect mom for my two little miracle babies.
I really have struggled since my second child was both about being a great mom. Thanks for reminding me that I'm the perfect mom for my two little miracle babies.
definitely needed this. thank you.
You mean I'm really not alone? I've felt it so many times. And the comment about facebook...so dead on. Everyone always seems so happy and perfect and super mom and super in love wife all the time, every day. Do they not once feel what I've felt? But now I see sometimes people do...maybe they just don't share it. My husband lost his job. I have medical problems and was supposed to have surgery but we lost the insurance along with the job and now can't afford it. I was on medical leave but they denied my pay....which I found out just 2 days after he lost his job. My kids are so sassy so often now that it just makes me wanna scream or cry or both....and often it's both. I love them and love my husband but some days I just want to give up and run far, far away. But I keep hanging onto that towel because tomorrow will be better. Tonight my car broke down, it's one of those nights with my kiddos, and I so needed this! Thank you!
Thank you for this - I will read it often, I'm sure. It really lifted my spirits and God Bless You.
Omg I so needed this.. I have had a real hard time.. lately. . Mother of 5 grandma of 1. Kids age is 21-5 my kife is so crazy N hectic preschool. School events.. basketball practice Dance.. Soccer.. church... an I day care kids... like I don't have enough on mh plate.. laundry Mountains.... I'm so glad I'm not alone !! This post brought tears to my eyes..Thank You !!!! Iso needed to hear ALL of this =) Nicole.. it will only let me post Anonymous
It gets better. My son was diagnosed with Autism at 3 1/2. I remember thinking it would never get better but it does. He's taught me so much- I didn't know it yet but I needed him just as much as he needs me. It's hard and it can be hard for a long time but it gets better. Find a support group for parents with children diagnosed with autism. Most people who don't live with it might be well meaning but they don't really get it. It really does get better. Celebrate the small things and try not to worry about the future because the future happens anyways whether you worry or not.
I needed this right at this moment. going to share with a friend of mine. this needed to be said. Thanks!
Lifting you up in prayer right now!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
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your words were such a blessing for me. I was riding the roller coaster of raising a teenager, and feeling like I was messing up left and right. I NEEDED to hear everyone of those words that morning. It was God speaking to me. And then I shared it on facebook, and couldn't believe how many said THANK YOU, I NEEDED THAT TODAY. You are pretty cool! :) thank you!
Why do so many moms fake it? It makes me think I am the only one. I really need this today. I told my husband last night I was leaving him with our daughter and I was going to move. My heart is troubled and this might just have been the post from God that caused this heart to break for my family. As I write this through so many tears, while at work and trying to keep on keeping on, I realized I needed this today. So thank you.
I have a kid with special needs and he is getting stronger and it is getting harder and harder to hold him when he needs a safety hold. It is harder and harder to sit through the spitting, cursing, name calling,provoking, biting, kicking, hitting and struggling. I never know, and I am the one person who can even guess when it will come,when something will trigger his feelings of hopelessness and anger, sadness and self hate. It is hard to hear your nine year old cry, "Just kill me, it would be better than this!" If it was just folding laundry at 2am, not to be dismissive, but I would give everything for it to be that. Thank you for writing this.
Wise words for me to reflect upon- my children are in their late teens and early twenty's. Your message is just as relevant now as it was when they were young. My daily demands may have shifted and look different, but when they get older you just have different dynamics that you are dealing with, which sometimes seem more difficult then when they were younger. So you see, by not quitting when they are growing up, it gives you lot's of practice for when they are "grown up" and you REALLY just want to quit!
My 17 yr old daughter left this post on my facebook wall today. She knows I've been going trough a great deal lately and it's moments like this that keep me going. I am so lucky and love my daughter unconditionally and am so proud of her. I too had tears rolling down my face but couldn't stop reading...
Thank you! Bookmarking this so I can return to it again!
thank you, thank you, thank you. I so needed this today. I am a fist time mom that works full time and has a husband that is usually gone five days a week. We have no family in town and I feel like I carry the weight of the world. I have a wonderful 17 month who has decided she doesn't need sleep. Needless to say, I feel like a failure and this has inspired me to keep plugging along.
Ok. so ugly cry done now, I will tell you thank you for this. I have been an anxious mess lately, for lots.of.reasons, and just want to hand these 5 over to someone who can do a better job than me , at housekeeping, homeschooling, disciplining, decorating, providing, etc. But after reading this I feel some hope. So I am wiping my eyes and moving forward. Good to know I am not the only one. Love to you.
Ok. so ugly cry done now, I will tell you thank you for this. I have been an anxious mess lately, for lots.of.reasons, and just want to hand these 5 over to someone who can do a better job than me , at housekeeping, homeschooling, disciplining, decorating, providing, etc. But after reading this I feel some hope. So I am wiping my eyes and moving forward. Good to know I am not the only one. Love to you.
I was once trying so hard to be the perfect mother at Christmas. I had decorated the house all around. I was cooking a Christmas meal, baking Christmas cookies, wrapping lovely gifts to give. It was relatively neat on the first floor, where I was entertaining my out-of-town father and his very, very young girlfriend. Well, my dad chose to open the garage door and notice that my garage was messy. Of course it was, all of the boxes for the holiday decorations were in there! He really laid into me about what a failure I am. He made me shake and cry. I tried to commit suicide over it. They checked me into the hospital and I have never fully recovered from his stinging criticism. Please no one criticize moms! It's not about perfection. I have always known this. Perfection is not possible. It will only make us depressed and crazy. God bless all of the mothers who try so very hard every day!
As I read this it's encouraging because I have a son who has chosen to fall in love with alcohol and shut his family out. On his road to destruction and possibly suicide (as he is extremely depressed) I sit and pray, and pray and ask how did I end up here and pray some more. It's hard raising children and then they grow up into adult children. The love and dedication to them never changes but the emptiness, loneliness and despair sets in. As tears run down my face, I pray some more and thank you for posting this today. A little piece of hope to get me through the day.
I think I could have written your response exactly...except insert medical school for graduate school. Close enough. I have been feeling the same way. I finally had to tell my husband "I need you to notice me and what I am doing. I need some appreciation and the kids aren't going to do that." It has helped. Not perfect but better. Just wanted to say you are not alone in needing to be appreciated!
I'm a widower dad with a 5 and 7 old. Both boys. They are awesome - by we lost mommy 2 years ago after a 3 year cancer battle. It's beena really tough last few months. Christmas was filled with challenges. I've got no domestic support - and I work more than full time.
Top it all off and my 2nd graders got suspended from school for a week! Now how do I get it all done with him not in school...?
One day at a time. Prayer and trusting God.
Thanks for writing this. It helped me.
I ended up here because I have recently become a grandmother and for the first time in many years am looking at baby related 'stuff'. Every feeling written here brought back memories of how tough it is to be a mother. How thankless the task seems sometimes ..... how endless that list of unfinished chores....how totally unappreciated you feel as a woman ..... and a mother!
So, from the platform of advancing age and grown up children, I want to let you into a couple of secrets:
Firstly, there will come a day when you look back on this time with real pleasure and a wistful regret.Truly!! Probably when your teenager throws you a problem that defies belief and you will just wish for those days when you spent half a night cuddling him in your arms, safe. HOWEVER crazy it feels now, try to count the moments of joy when your child smiles, hugs you ...or even throws his plate from the highchair and decorates the walls. Those are the moments you will one day remember ..... and recount with a smile.
Second, learn to give yourself a break. Does it really matter if the laundry is backed up, or the whole routine goes to hell because you and your babies need a sofa day to be sick together. I know it feels like the biggest deal in the world, but trust me .... that laundry doesn't really matter one jot. And the dust will still be there tomorrow. Your children really will never remember that the house was spotless and the ironing neatly folded. They will remember that you told them stories, cuddled them when they were sick, took time to watch the butterfly with them.
You already qualify as great mothers because you are worrying about it all. Mothers who don't worry are the ones in true trouble.
So please, stop giving yourselves such a hard time trying to be supermoms, and thinking that every other mother is doing a better job than you. However smart and organised those other mothers may look, they are struggling just like you. Somewhere, on some trip out, there will be a woman looking at YOU and wishing she had it so together!!
A grandmother.
Chiming in late, but Rachel, this post has been on my heart all week. I am sure I am not the only reader who believes you are telepathic. I read this post the very day I quit in my heart and mailed in applications to area charter schools. If we (moms blogging, reading blogs, drolling over Pinterest) could all just follow your lead and intentionally encourage one another and reach out, mothering in 2013 might start to look and feel more joyful and less competitive. Ladies, let's be truly happy for those on top of their game and willing to put forth the effort to achieve, but realize it all comes at a price. Turn off the voices (blogs, books) that make you feel inferior. Like Rachel said, holding the puke bucket is as important as anything else you do. More important that a clean house or creative birthday party, more important than knitting organic wool baby sweaters or publishing a cookbook. Let's quit hiding behind facades of perfection and reach out to one another. Thank you, Rachel, and God bless you!
I totally agree with u Tracy on ur post a friend of mine tagged me in this post and I was almost at the point of giving up. I have been dealing with two sick kids all week and my house has been trashed from one room to the other and I have found my self screaming into the air and wondering how I'm going to get it all cleaned before hubby gets home then I said I'm not going to rush around with my head cut off to clean up a mess that there just going to trash all over again when they get up. I really needed this post today it has given me hope that I'm not the only one who goes through all this pain and still wants to do everything possible for her kids.
Beautiful. Perfect.
Thank you. That's about all I can say while fighting back tears. Not only are your words very touching, but they really put things into perspective about the beautiful, meaningful, imperfect, crazy journey every parent is on. Our journey doesn't have to look like a magazine or the mom/dad at school who seems to be put together in every single way. It can be many different kinds of beauty, and be unique. The magazine, websites or "perfect people" won't matter in the end anyway.
I really needed this today. Thank you. I cried as I read. Ok here goes, chin up, deep breath- lets di this kids.
Words cannot express how thankful I am for this post. I am overwhelmed, and constantly question myself when the house isn't perfect, kids aren't quite, and meals aren't served on time. In it all these aren't the things that truly matter.
Thank you Rachel for being an angel in my day.
Happened upon this today and in less than 12 hours have read it no less than 4 hours, with tears each time. My husband is deployed for the second time, I have a teething seven month old, no friends in town, living at home with my parents with too many bills and a part time job. Today has been a terrible, horrible, words can't express hopeless day. I have finally realized that my 'best friend' has become someone who I can no longer rely on for a shoulder or even expect to ask how I am doing - in short, it was a rip the towel up and toss it kind of day. I needed this, more than words can express. Thank you, for the words, the tears that I've allowed myself, and the hope that maybe I'm not alone after all.
I rarely leave comments on blogs that I happen to run across but I wanted to thank you for this post. I'm sitting here writing with tears running down my face...because this is me. Some days I want to quit. Some days I'm not the best mother. But I am their mother. And I love them so freaking much. Even when they sass...or fight..or drive me absolutely insane. Thank you for this. I'm bookmarking...pinning...saving it. And re-reading it when I need that "you can do it" speech. Because only another mom can get how truly hard (and rewarding) this job is! <3
This will be the third night that I have been up without hardly any sleep. Feeling overwhelmed with all that I feel is expected of me day to day on top of pushing myself to never settle and accomplishing my own goals. My eyes have been swollen from crying so much. I have two beautiful little girls (one will be 3 next month and the other is 19 months). I am also expecting another little girl in July. This has been the first semester I have not been working full-time while being a full-time student (earning my second degree then starting Law School next Spring). It is not as easy to be a stay-at-home mom and full-time student either. I want to give up soo many times but just can not bring myself to do it. I am stubborn and know I will make it through all of this somehow. My biggest problem is that I am a perfectionist especially when it comes to work or school and I have anxiety and panic attacks and have since high school. I could not have ran across this blog at a better time. Thank you! Thank you!
HEY! Don't make me cry within half an hour of waking up! I haven't even had a sip of coffee yet!
Phenomenal post. Seriously.
After being told by my mother-in-law this weekend that basically I was not a good mother, I have been having the most horrid days since my first child was born, thinking that HER words mattered as to how good of a mother I was. I was seriously depressed beyond belief to the point that I almost gave up. But then a friend shared your post on facebook and I read it, and I cried. Not because it was sad, but because I felt like I am NOT the only one. And now, I know I am better.
I just wanted you to know what an impact you had on a stranger today that was at her ropes end. Thanks so much for sharing, inspiring and for all you do as a mother too!
God bless you....
Love this post! I am linking it in my bog so that others can find it.
Sasha from http://waytomotherhood.blogspot.ca/
<3
This helped me so much. I'm battling with mental health issues and everyday is a struggle between lying in bed and finding the energy to be the mom my son deserves. This just gave me a boost and I can't thank you enough.
Thank you so much for writing this post. I've had an overwhelming week where I've worked my butt off all day and can't see any difference in the house. The toddler has been clingy. The baby has been screaming for no identifiable reason. I'm super behind on sleep and am dead tired. I've been on the verge of tears for three days.
This post, and all of the rest of your Dear Mom letters, have been a blessing to me. Thank you again so much.
What a beautiful and encouraging post, and I hope all the mothers out there who need to hear this message will find it and read it and know they are not alone. We all want to be supermoms, but there will be days when what little that gets done will have to be good enough. There's always tomorrow, and it will be a better day.
My children are now 23 and 26, and I'm proud to say they are healthy and well adjusted adults living on their own. I certainly didn't do everything right when they were growing up. I have memories of things I wish I had handled differently and that I hope they have forgotten, but in spite of those tearful moments (mine and theirs) things have a way of working out. But I do hope my children remember the good times they had growing up... kinda like they say mothers don't remember the pain of labor and childbirth when they're holding their precious new baby.
Chin up, mommies, and take it one day at a time. You are truly stronger than you know.
What a beautiful and encouraging post, and I hope all the mothers out there who need to hear this message will find it and read it and know they are not alone. We all want to be supermoms, but there will be days when what little that gets done will have to be good enough. There's always tomorrow, and it will be a better day.
My children are now 23 and 26, and I'm proud to say they are healthy and well adjusted adults living on their own. I certainly didn't do everything right when they were growing up. I have memories of things I wish I had handled differently and that I hope they have forgotten, but in spite of those tearful moments (mine and theirs) things have a way of working out. But I do hope my children remember the good times they had growing up... kinda like they say mothers don't remember the pain of labor and childbirth when they're holding their precious new baby.
Chin up, mommies, and take it one day at a time. You are truly stronger than you know.
Thank you, for saying what we all feel! My husband is in the Navy and had been gone for over a year. I have a 6,4 and 18 month old. There are MANY days that I want to quit, it feels an impossible task. I often feel inadequate to do it all alone. These words were exactly what I need to hear to encourage me through the last stretch of this deployment!! Thank you!
Thank you! My husband was laid off about a month ago. I was a stay at home mom, and because we need the income I have gone back to work and will be starting a part time job (in addition to the full time) in a week. I feel very overwhelmed and that I am not there for my kids (2 and 5 mo). I really needed to hear this!!!
I wish I could have read your blog when I was raising my nine children. I love(d) them dearly and they were/ are so precious but it was hard. There is one consolation though. I feel like a wiser, more patient grandmother because of what we have all gone through. But it sure taught me to trust in our Heavenly Father, and raising a family help to bond my husband and I very closely together.
Oh, yes, just one more thing. Isn't it amazing how strong mother-love is. We would give up if God hadn't put such a tremendously powerful love for our children in our hearts.
Thank you. Just thank you.
I am a father of 2 crazy and amazing boys, this put tears in MY eyes and will help me to persevere.
Good to see that we mommies are encouraging each other. While I am the mother of three and went through tough times as well, the one day at a time strategy really worked for me. Here I am some 23 years later, still taking one day at a time. It doesn't end after toddlerhood, thank God for letting me be a mommy for life.
Thank you, this makes such a difference. To hear I'm not alone in all these crazy mom guilts and feeling of struggle.
I'm a mother of 8 and find these words so helpful. I feel nostalgic for the days when all i had to do was wipe noses, read stories, and snuggle. It's true..the time goes by fast. Now i do that above, but also deal with two teenagers. I'm very very proud of all of them; I told them today they are the better of both their daddy and me.
But I am not so glad about me at times...I lose my temper...way too much. This blog really helped. Just like someone else said who had two grown children--I pray they don't remember much of that..or if they do they remember that I always strived to seek their forgiveness, to grow and to change. I sure hope that other moms can know this too, and not be too hard on themselves. After all, in our weakness, God is strong. He loves children. He wants us to succeed; and joyfully so. Peace to all of you.
Thank you for this post. I have been thinking a lot lately that I just can't do this mothering thing anymore. I am outnumbered and overwhelmed almost everyday (3 kids, 5 and under). I needed to read this today. Thank you.
I wish I could of read a blog like yours when I was in the thick of things with our nine children. I love them all dearly but it wasn't easy.
May God bless all loving Moms everywhere!
Thank you so much for this post. I have been a single mom of three (ages 12, 14, 20) for twelve years...I am in grad school full time and I have been feeling this way on and off for years. Right now is a tough time, I just happened to come across this post and am so grateful for the reminder...tears are streaming down my face. I will never quit being there mom.
I am in love with this. I'm saving it and reading it every day! It is SUCH a RELIEF to know that I am not alone in these feelings! THANK YOU!
Thank you <3
I needed to read this today. Thank you. You literally made me cry, tears of like this is not the end of the world. Thank you
This is helping me rite now. Everyone expects me to be supermom because. I've been fixing.cars for 10yrs, welding for 8, certitude HVAC Tech for 3 and currently in college for auto collision repair. I have many skills beyond the ones listed. Everyone wants me to.do favors and I'm tired. One other thing I forgot to mention........I'm 30 and in the Advanced stages of Multiple Sclerosis. I was diagnosed 3 years ago. As soon as I started to get better did you think that people cared that I was sick. Everyone I know I feel like it has taken advantage of me. Including husband and kids. I'm just tired. I'm really nice and I put my foot dwn when it comes to me expressing my feelings but it seems it falls on deaf ears. I have to do motherly duties for 4 children while playing Jill of all trades at home. Its very stressful and I sometimes want to quit but there isn't a quitter in me but I'm tired and all this stress is not good for my illness
Me again(wife with MS). Forgot to thank u for lifting my spirit up I'm going to bookmark this and keep it as a reminder of how special I am.
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