I thought about writing you another dear mom letter. This letter was to the defeated mom, the mom that was worn, and sitting in a life that looks nothing like the life she had envisioned for motherhood. It was to you, the mom that just is simply tired of folding laundry or dealing with sassing children or whose heart is just a bit weary, tired or lost in the midst of motherhood.
It's easy to lose one's heart in motherhood.
It's easy to mumble words about not really caring or it doesn't matter or some day it will be different.
And then, then those days of allowing numb or defeat or sadness chip away at the actually very beautiful moments tucked within the normal days of motherhood. The moments like Hannah captured yesterday - the simple raw beauty of motherhood - moments of tender hugs, tucking hair behind the ears, and wiping away damp tears from a three year old's face. They're the moments of simple joy and just life lived.
Those moments are the moments that will tug at your heart one day.
You just need to see them again.
You just need to see you again.
And you need to acknowledge that heart of yours. Don't keep telling yourself it doesn't matter. It does matter. It does matter if you're hurting right now or are feeling overwhelmed or are just simply tired or wish that someone would see all the awesomeness that you do every day. Now don't laugh or shake your head or dismiss all that you're doing. Don't tell me it's just what a mom days. Do you know what?
It is just what a mom does.
And it's awesome and amazing and one of those things that deserves a standing ovation.
I am not joking.
Motherhood is hard. I mean, really, really think about it. You nurture a person. Teach them about life. Love them when they tell you they hate you. Potty train them. Which, by the way makes my top five of least favorite things to do as a parent. If there was a dislike button for parenting moments I'll put that there. I might even put that at the top three, because seriously, it's no fun. You hold puke buckets, wipe sweaty brows, mop up spilled milk, vacuum out crumbs out of the back seat, deal with lost homework, you find apple cores stuffed behind dressers instead of being thrown away, there's the laundry that you forgot in the washing machine, and clothes in the dryer that need to be tumbled again because you left them in there so long that they got wrinkly.
All normal. And all amazing.
Motherhood is a great deal of brushing off the feeling of defeat. It's that constant refusal of letting the lies of defeat stick to who you are and what you do. This world can easily label and burden you and me and all the mothers of this world with a list of expectations, to-do's, and must do's that we start to think we're not measuring up. If you never did one pinterest project again you would still be an awesome mom. Here's a secret - I've only done one thing from pinterest. Ever. Even though I have boards upon boards with the label things to do and try.
And that pulling up of the boot straps? Well, every single time you count to ten for the tenth time behind the bathroom door before going back and dealing with the four year old (talk about a challenging age) you are pulling up those motherhood bootstraps. The act of pulling anything up requires effort. Work. Work is hard. Work takes strength.
You are full of strength.
Sometimes you forget. I know because I forget it in my own life. And then I fall back into those it doesn't really matter phrases. But, truth it, you matter. Not because you're an amazing mom who feels a bit defeated right now, but at the core, because you as a person, who happens to be a mother, truly matters.
Our hearts matter. Your heart matters.
So today, today I step back for a moment and I hold my extra hot caramel macchiato (because that it is what I always get at Starbucks) up to you and I cheer for you, your heart, your motherhood journey, and your journey. It's a journey with ups and downs and about faces and paths that you never thought you'd ever be on. It's not really where you're ending up, it's the living now that matters.
Live today knowing that today you're making a difference.
You are amazing.
Someone needed to remind you of it again. And today? Today it was me.
Onward brave mother.
You have life to live.
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